In the month of May I received a phone call from my Mom saying that my Father was in the Hospital because of stomach pains. The diagnosis was Cancer of the Liver and Stomach. His Doctor gave him a year or so to live, scheduled chemo and sent him home. My Father lived a life of drugs and alcohol. I made preparations to visit him quickly. When My family and I arrived at his home in North Carolina, I saw a man that looked older then expected, tired, frail, and in pain. The crazy thing is that the whole 2 days we were there, he never complained and in good spirit. One thing I noticed is that his shoulders was so narrow. I remember growing up seeing a man that stood tall and strong with broad shoulders. Now im seeing a man that looked defeated. There was moments when i noticed him just staring at me. Staring at his Grand children, like he was burning the images in his head to keep with him when he passes. My father and I never had the best relationship. I wasn't there to bring up the bad things, but there to laugh and build.
On June 8th, I was back at work. I left my cell phone in the car that day. Later that day I had this crazy feeling like I had to get my phone, I mean like i was literally running to my car to get it. When I opened my phone i saw that my Brother and Sister called. I knew it was about my dad. So when i called my Sister, Thats when i got the news that he past away at his home in North Carolina. I found out later that he was dead in his home for 2 days. I couldn't get that image out my head for a while. I wish that I was there to see him for the last time. He was cremated, so the last image in my head was when i saw him in May. Im guessing that was a good thing.
Now for those who know me, knows that im not a big talker. But I felt that I had to speak at his memorial. The strangest thing is that I wasn't nervous at all. When I went up to the podium, the tears flowed, and I got out what I had to say. That he was a good man, a good man that welcomed his nieces and nephews in his home, so they can get on there feet.
as 2011 rolls in, it seemed official that I will not see my father for a while now. Try to stay in touch with friends and family. Talk and spend time with your kids. love your spouse or significant other with all your heart.
